How to Identify Parenting Triggers and Ways to Deal with Them?

February 25, 2025

Swati, a Delhi-based software engineer, and a young mom often loses her calm while handling her daughter on weekends!

Every time something or the other turns her off, and the dreaded loop of yelling, shouting, and weeping continues!

With time, Swati feels more and more hopeless as a parent. She finds it difficult to manage her child and like most of us, the issues are common.

Netflix binge-watching, messy room, leftover food, and the neglectful attitude of her daughter leave the mother dismal amongst numerous other struggles. Parents like Swati are forced to doubt her parenting style without any concrete solution.

Swati is not the only parent battling with these parenting triggers nowadays. In fact, it is a common story for most parents who keep juggling work and family tasks every day just to give their kids the best of everything in life.

Let’s unfold the mysteries behind these unmanaged parenting triggers and the possibilities to make our lives better.

Be with us!

What are Parenting Triggers?

Parenting is a complex journey that involves multiple human emotions. A parenting trigger is simply a strong emotional reaction by a parent/caregiver after a specific situation or a repeated instance. Often, these triggers are expressed through anger, harsh words, shouting, yelling, etc. For most of us, these are automatic, and our reactions as parents are completely against the rules of the best parenting guides.

Is there a permanent solution to these triggers?

Or should we simply learn to live with these?

Let’s discover some good parenting tips to identify and about the steps to manage this problem.

Read on.

How to Identify Parenting Triggers?

Experiencing Strong Emotions

If your child’s behavior often triggers strong and unpleasant emotions in you, consider it as a parenting trigger. Anger, disgust, hopelessness, fear, shame, or guilt are all signs of an unmanaged trigger. Try to identify these first and once you do this, switch on your action mode and start with the handling part.

Conflicting Generational Values

Baby boomers, generation X, Millennials, Gen Z, Alpha, and Beta hardly have anything in common.

And it is normal to feel a stark difference in values, priorities, and ways of handling a child. Most parenting tips fail to teach us how to deal with the contradiction of generational values. But again, it is a dominant aspect of our lives, and as parents, we face it day in and out.

A quick example, think about your childhood, how curious were you as a child, and did your parents have all the answers to your questions back then?

Puzzling right?

Most of us were not raised in an environment where curiosity was welcomed. But today as we raise Gen Z and Alpha, curiosity is an appreciated 21^st-century skill.

Fun fact here!

We are raising highly inquisitive kids. So much so that we often fall short to quench their thirst for knowledge.

Here’s some related data:

Findings	%
Feel that they don’t have instant answers	54%
Admitted to making up answers on the spot	44%
Encourage inquisitiveness	90%

Values differ drastically across generations. So the next time you experience a trigger remind yourself that these kids are not the same as your generation.

Hopelessness

Have you ever felt hopeless as your words have no value for your child?

I am sure you have!

Most of us across different parenting styles feel this very often. Constant reminders, too much effort, nagging, disobedience, and talking back are common scenes in our Indian homes. Once again, all this is followed by a parenting trigger.

I hope you can connect with these facts.

If yes, CONGRATS!

Because you have won the first stage of this uphill battle.

Now let’s jump to the ways of handling these triggers.

How to Handle Parenting Triggers?

Step 1 – Train Your Brain

When you recognize your triggers start practicing delayed reactions. Step away, drink some water, and do not react instantly to anything that your child does, or says. This simple anger management technique will improve your parenting style drastically. And once you master this technique start prepping for the next stage.

Step 2 – Let Go of Negativity

It is normal to blame yourself for your child’s misbehavior. But again, shame, guilt, and self-harm are your biggest enemies while parenting a child. When you feel instigated, remind yourself that your child’s behavior is not shaped by you alone. A child’s growth and developmental process is a complex one. It has several aspects and dimensions.

Help yourself to let go of practices like self-blame. Instead, start embracing self-compassion, and learn to be kind to yourself before you look for any possible solutions for your child’s problems. Remember that your positive attitude alone has the power to shape your child’s behavior. So get this one in place, before you get other things corrected.

Step 3 – Problem-Solving

Be it parenting triggers or behavior issues in kids, there is always a reason behind it.

Start looking for the actual reason behind your child’s behavior. And check on issues that might not be visible right away to you.

Problems like bullying, academic struggles, bad company, anxiety during the puberty stage, and excessive use of social media, are REAL PROBLEMS with most kids.

So go back to the good parenting tips once again, and start afresh by having open conversations with your child to know what’s on his/her mind. Make these conversations perfectly non-judgmental. And start by appreciating the child with a genuine reason, and avoid using words (and phrases) like ‘no’, ‘you always’, ‘it’s your fault’, etc. Do not hesitate to interact with your child’s teachers (traditional or online school), friends, etc. to learn about the causes of a certain behavior.

Once you find the problem, address it by consulting experts, family members or simply brush up your knowledge through appropriate channels (like school counselors, etc.) to understand the root cause. Once you do this, the loop to your trigger will automatically disappear in some time.

Final Thoughts

Parental imbalance and triggers are a vicious cycle of anger, disgust, and guilt. It hampers your mental health, ruins your family atmosphere, and most importantly, affects your child’s development negatively. Let’s follow these mindful steps to enjoy peaceful parenting.

And before we wrap up, here’s a pro tip for you-

74% of parents feel they are over-involved in their child’s life.

So here’s the key to good parenting-

Strike a balance between involvement and foster independence while raising your child.

Visit our ‘Blog’ section regularly to learn about the best strategies to make life easier for you as a parent. You can also check our online school programs on this page.

Thanks for Reading!

Frequently Asked Questions

What are some good parenting tips?
Set house rules, stay calm, choose responses over your reactions, do not use harsh words, and stay consistent with the child.
What is the best parenting style that helps to avoid triggers?
Triggers are mostly beyond parenting styles. Most parents experience these triggers very often. To manage these triggers, parents (irrespective of their parenting styles) need to train their brains with mindful practices.
What are the best suggestions from a parenting guide?
Be kind to yourself and to your kids, be a good role model, reinforce good behavior, and trust yourself that you can pass the harsh phases of the parenting journey.